Any Given Sunday

Growing up, I typically enjoyed going to church. However, if you had to pick a service to miss, confirmation Sunday was definitely the one. Each student was given a Bible verse to memorize, and would be asked two questions about the Apostle's Creed.

This would require approximately 5 minutes per student. An average year would yield about 15 students so we're talking over an hour, and that is just the confirmation aspect.

It is a rule, that you must sing at least 2 songs at every church service. This rule may not be broken under any circumstance, or the congregation would call for an immediate removal of all personnel.

There must also be some sort of preaching, although in this case it can be a wrap up sermon condensed to 5-10 minutes or so. Now I realize that for some, a 90 minute service is nothing. I know some charismatic churches that regularly push the 4 hour mark.

However, if you are a part of a traditional liturgical church you know how restless people get when we go a minute over the hour mark. People will literally start leaving.

It was classic to see people walk in and realize it was confirmation Sunday. If they were paying attention, they would grab a bulletin and say something like "oh, I need to go the restroom."

Um...yeah, the restroom at your house.

Better still were the ones who weren't paying attention, and realized what was happening half-way down the isle. The looks on their faces was priceless. They were stuck until the first song, which would free them from purgatory, as they could casually slip out the back.