Top 10 Reasons to Sit in The Back Pew

1. To hide your embarrassing bald spot.

2. Gaining the ability to leave effortlessly, without having to awkwardly shimmy past those who congregate in the center isles to talk.

3. It allows you to track who gets up to use the restroom, and tally how many times.

4. To rest your head against the back wall for optimal sleep performance.

5. Provides the opportunity to guesstimate the cash intake of the morning offering.

6. If a terrorist comes in, the chances of him walking past you are much higher, allowing you to become a hero, or quietly slip out the back.

7. If you fart, you can point at someone next to you when everyone turns around.

8. To earn money by challenging your friend to make faces at the pastor, competing to see who can get him to laugh first.

9. You can put notes into a bottle, and roll them down to your friend in the front row.

10. It allows you to join the sound people when they hurry down for communion, and then go again when the ushers dismiss your row.



The Next Top 10 List will be
"Reasons it stinks to be a Pastor's Kid"

If you have any suggestions please send me a comment. If I use your idea, I will add your link in the post.